ADHD glossary · Family perspectives
Perfectionism: separate a standard from a label
The National Library of Medicine describes perfectionism in terms of pursuing an absence of flaws, demanding excessively high performance, judging oneself harshly, and concern about other people's judgments. [1]
General education and practical perspectives. Editorial standards.
That is a more specific description than simply wanting to do something well. When someone uses “perfectionist” casually, this page asks which part they mean: the expected standard, their own evaluation, or what they think others expect. We do not diagnose a trait from one unfinished project.
The poster with no agreed finish line
In a fictional example, Bea volunteers to design a poster for a local history evening. She has revised the spacing several times. Another volunteer says, “You're being a perfectionist.”
Bea explains that she is waiting for confirmation of the venue address. She also wants to replace a photograph she does not have permission to use. Those are specific unfinished requirements. The number of revisions alone has not established the source-defined pattern above.
In a different version of the scene, Bea might say, “I won't let anyone see it unless every detail is flawless, and I am sure they'll judge me for a tiny mistake.” That would be her account of the standard and anticipated evaluation. It still would not authorize the other volunteer to assess her personality.
Ask about the standard, not the person's identity
A practical poster discussion could separate three questions:
- What information must be accurate before this is shared?
- Which design choices are preferences?
- Who has authority to say the poster can be used?
These are optional project questions. They are not an exercise to treat perfectionism. Correcting an address or establishing permission is not something this glossary asks a person to dismiss as an unreasonable standard.
The discussion might produce a short note: “Venue confirmation pending; image replacement pending; typeface preference unresolved.” Each item names an issue. None says Bea is the issue.
Delay does not supply an explanation by itself
The procrastination entry concerns a different source-defined term. We do not use perfectionism as the default explanation for a late reply, a paused draft, or repeated editing. The definition-of-done page is about an agreed completion boundary, not an assessment of someone's internal standards.
A reader may want both pages for different reasons. For example, Bea could ask for a release criterion while also choosing to discuss how she feels about showing the poster. The two conversations should not be forced into one.
Leave evaluation with the person describing it
A teen may care deeply about an art project without wanting a personality label. A parent can ask what remains unfinished before describing a child's approach. A partner can disagree about how polished a shared invitation needs to be while keeping the disagreement about the invitation.
This article does not recommend deliberately making mistakes, lowering standards, exposure exercises, or a plan to overcome perfectionism. It supplies a bounded definition and a way to ask what a particular use of the word refers to.
For the poster, the useful endpoint is an explicit account of the remaining requirements and preferences. Whether Bea accepts the word perfectionism for her experience is a separate matter, not a condition for finishing the discussion.
Source
[1] National Library of Medicine. Perfectionism MeSH Descriptor Data 2026. National Library of Medicine. Last updated 2017-01-01. Accessed September 6, 2026. Scope Note. Supports [1] only; fictional illustrations and optional wording are not source procedures or evidence of benefit.
Related guides
Sources and what they support
These sources support the specific statements identified below. Our practical exercises are suggestions to consider, not evidence of a treatment effect.
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Perfectionism MeSH Descriptor Data 2026 — National Library of Medicine
Source type: institutional.
Updated . Accessed .
Source check, September 6, 2026: Scoped source check. Passage: Scope Note. Limits: Only attributed terminology is adopted. This record is not an individual assessment, clinical guidance, an efficacy study, a developmental milestone standard, or evidence for the independently written fictional examples.
Supports: The National Library of Medicine describes perfectionism in terms of pursuing an absence of flaws, demanding excessively high performance, judging oneself harshly, and concern about other people's judgments.
Correction check: No correction notice changing the adopted terminology appeared in the inspected record. The displayed record-specific Last Updated field was checked. No exhaustive historical version or external bibliographic correction audit was performed.
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