ADHD glossary · Family perspectives
Role expectations: name the assumption before calling it an agreement
The APA Dictionary describes role expectations as qualities, attitudes, and actions considered appropriate to a position in a group or social setting. These expectations may come from other people or from the person occupying the role. [1]
General education and practical perspectives. Editorial standards.
The everyday question is what someone assumes a parent, sibling, partner, host, or colleague will do. An expectation can remain unspoken. This page distinguishes that assumption from an explicit agreement; it does not determine anybody's formal duties or prescribe the right arrangement for every family.
The title of host becomes three different jobs
In a fictional household, one adult offers the dining room for a relatives' game evening. Another assumes that hosting includes choosing the games and providing the food. A third expects the host to send reminders to everyone.
The adult who offered the room had planned only to clear the table and be there to welcome people. Nobody has necessarily broken an agreement yet. They have attached different jobs to the same role label.
The relatives can name the pieces: location, food, invitations, games, and cleanup. Each piece can then be offered or declined. That is a new conversation about work, not proof that one person's definition of a proper host was correct all along.
Expectations also concern manner and attitude
Someone may assume a host will sound delighted throughout an event or that an older sibling will always be patient. Those are expectations about how a role should be performed, not only which task gets done.
For an ordinary discussion, ask whether the concern is an actual action, a tone, or an inferred attitude. “The invitation was not sent” is different from “A caring host would have anticipated everything.” The latter bundles a judgment about care into an unstated standard.
The person in the role may impose expectations on themself, too. An adult can say they thought offering the room meant they had to do everything, even though nobody else requested that. This does not make the effort imaginary; it identifies where the expectation came from in this particular account.
Keep the household's choices open
A parent can invite age-appropriate contributions to an ordinary activity without telling a child that being the eldest makes all coordination their job. A teen can ask which part they actually agreed to handle. A grandparent can enjoy being a guest rather than automatically becoming the supervisor or source of supplies.
Partners may find that each learned a different meaning of a familiar role. They can describe those meanings without claiming that one family tradition is universal. The immediate issue is the arrangement they want now.
A useful distinction on paper
An optional note can have three headings: “What I assumed,” “What was actually said,” and “What remains to agree.” Do not use it to compile charges against someone. Its purpose is to separate the sources of an expectation.
Role expectations are broader than a task list, and different from the work of keeping track of tasks. This vocabulary cannot infer motives, explain a conflict through ADHD, or establish legal or professional obligations.
Sources
1. American Psychological Association. Role expectations. APA Dictionary of Psychology. Updated November 15, 2023. Accessed September 6, 2026. Complete entry retrieved from the public endpoint used by the publisher's web application; no source occupational example reproduced. Entry.
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Sources and what they support
These sources support the specific statements identified below. Our practical exercises are suggestions to consider, not evidence of a treatment effect.
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role expectations — American Psychological Association — APA Dictionary of Psychology
Source type: professional reference.
Updated . Accessed .
Source check, September 6, 2026: Scoped source check. Passage: Complete entry; opening definition and source-of-expectation sentence. Limits: The dictionary's teacher example and linked effect theories are not reused. No prescribed family allocation, ADHD explanation, formal duty or law.
Supports: The APA Dictionary describes role expectations as qualities, attitudes, and actions considered appropriate to a position in a group or social setting. These expectations may come from other people or from the person occupying the role.
Correction check: Complete current publisher entry and its Updated on field inspected September 6, 2026. No separate correction or withdrawal notice appeared in the entry response. No publisher version archive or exhaustive correction-database search was available or performed; recorded status only describes material checked.
Updates and corrections
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