ADHD glossary · Family perspectives
Routine: write a household sequence people can change
A routine, in our everyday household use, is a sequence chosen for a recurring situation. It might describe what happens when everyone arrives home or how a shared room is left after a project. The useful question is not “What should a good family always do?” It is “What sequence are we agreeing to for this particular moment?”
General education and practical perspectives. Editorial standards.
We use routine here for an explicit arrangement. A checklist records items to check; a calendar records when events occur. A routine connects a starting point to a series of actions. Writing one does not establish a habit, and we make no claim about how quickly any action becomes automatic.
Worked example: coming home with library books
This is an invented example, not a report of a family's results. A child brings library books home on different afternoons. A parent wants to know which books belong to the library. A sibling wants the shared chair available instead of covered in bags. A grandparent sometimes arrives with the child and does not want to search for new instructions each visit.
They propose a three-part arrival routine:
1. Put the borrowed books in the labeled basket, unless the child wants to read one immediately.
2. Put the empty bag on its hook; the sibling's chair is not an alternate storage place.
3. The adult arriving with the child checks whether there is a dated return note and puts it beside the basket.
The child chooses the basket label. The parent handles changes to return information. The grandparent agrees to this arrival role only when bringing the child home. The sibling is not assigned to check whether the routine happened.
“Read one immediately” is a planned choice, not a failed step. The book can stay with the reader; the note can say where it is. If the basket is full, the adults and child decide on a different space instead of continuing to add books around it.
Copy a routine card
Start with one recurring moment. The example's three steps are not a required length.
Name of our routine:
It starts when:
1. Action / person agreeing to do it:
2. Action / person agreeing to do it:
3. Action / person agreeing to do it:
Choices or steps that are optional:
It is finished when:
Where the current instructions live:
Who changes those instructions:
If the usual place, person, or materials are unavailable:
When we will ask whether to keep, change, or stop it:
Read the card from the position of the person doing each step. “Put things away” may need a named place. “Ask an adult” may need an agreed adult and a way to reach them. Leave a step unresolved if nobody has agreed to own it.
Related guides
Questions you may have
Does everyone need the same routine?
No shared version is required by this template. Partners can have different arrival sequences and still agree on where shared keys belong. Record the shared part without scripting the rest of another person's evening.
What if we skip a day?
Start from the present situation. The card is not a streak counter or a record of someone's character. Ask whether a step is still wanted and whether its materials and owner are available.
When should we stop using the card?
Pause if it assigns an unagreed job, conflicts with someone's stated use of the space, or is being used to score or punish a person. If the situation changes, replace the old version rather than leaving competing instructions posted.
Updates and corrections
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