ADHD glossary · Family perspectives
Ambivalence: two feelings about the same possibility
One meaning of ambivalence in the APA Dictionary is having contradictory feelings or attitudes toward the same person, object, event, or situation at the same time. [1]
General education and practical perspectives. Editorial standards.
This page uses that ordinary mixed-feelings meaning only. It does not interpret the dictionary's historical clinical material or diagnose a person's uncertainty. The useful question is how someone can like and dislike aspects of the same possibility without either feeling being declared false.
Wanting the visit and wanting the weekend
Imagine an adult invited to spend a weekend with a relative who lives several hours away. They want time together and look forward to walking through the relative's town. They also want an unhurried weekend at home and dislike the prospect of spending much of it traveling.
They tell their partner that they want to go and do not want to go. In this fictional scene, the two statements concern different aspects of one visit. The partner need not decide that one is the adult's real feeling and the other is an excuse.
The practical decision still needs attention: accept, decline, or ask about another arrangement. Naming ambivalence does not make that choice, remove the travel time, or guarantee a compromise. It simply gives the conflicting evaluations room to be described accurately.
Mixed feelings are not the same as missing facts
The adult might also be uncertain about the departure time or whether a guest room is available. Those are unanswered questions. Learning the answers may clarify the plan, but it need not remove the mixed feelings about going.
Similarly, a decision can be made while some ambivalence remains. Accepting an invitation does not prove that the person has stopped valuing a quiet weekend. Declining does not prove that they do not care about the relative. Avoid treating a yes or no as a complete emotional biography.
Let the speaker keep both parts
An optional response is: “Which parts are pulling in different directions?” The person can answer, correct the question, or say they do not want to discuss it. This is a conversational suggestion, not a persuasion strategy.
A parent can hear that a child wants to attend a performance but dislikes the late evening. A teen can enjoy a family tradition while wanting a different role in it this year. A grandparent can look forward to visitors and still prefer a shorter stay. These are invented possibilities, not claims about particular ages or families.
Partners should not turn acknowledging mixed feelings into an obligation to list every reason aloud. A short answer may be enough for the decision at hand, and some reasons may remain private.
An optional two-part note
Write “What appeals to me” and “What does not appeal to me,” keeping both attached to the same option. Do not score the lists or assume the longer one must win. Add any factual question separately.
Ambivalence names an experience; decision-making concerns choosing, and emotion labeling concerns naming what is felt. This page offers no clinical interpretation, technique for resolving resistance, or promise that writing the feelings down will settle them.
Sources
1. American Psychological Association. Ambivalence. APA Dictionary of Psychology. Updated November 15, 2023. Accessed September 6, 2026. Complete entry; only the opening ordinary-language definition is adopted. Historical clinical claims and examples are excluded. Retrieved through the publisher application's public definition endpoint. Entry.
Related guides
Sources and what they support
These sources support the specific statements identified below. Our practical exercises are suggestions to consider, not evidence of a treatment effect.
-
ambivalence — American Psychological Association — APA Dictionary of Psychology
Source type: professional reference.
Updated . Accessed .
Source check, September 6, 2026: Scoped source check. Passage: Complete two-definition entry; only first clause of definition 1 adopted. Limits: Historical clinical material, named disorder, violent source example and diagnostic implications explicitly excluded. No persuasion or treatment claim.
Supports: One meaning of ambivalence in the APA Dictionary is having contradictory feelings or attitudes toward the same person, object, event, or situation at the same time.
Correction check: Complete current publisher entry and its Updated on field inspected September 6, 2026. No separate correction or withdrawal notice appeared in the entry response. No publisher version archive or exhaustive correction-database search was available or performed; recorded status only describes material checked.
Updates and corrections
Published .
Found a factual error or something unclear? Use the contact route on our Trust page. Read our research method for the evidence approach.