ADHD glossary · Family perspectives
Response window: make the requested reply timing explicit
A response window is the period in which someone is being asked to reply. In our ordinary coordination example, it is a proposed communication expectation that the people involved can clarify or renegotiate. Treat that time as a request to discuss, not as a reply the person has already agreed to send.
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The window concerns the reply, not necessarily completion of the underlying task. A deadline names when specified work is due. Availability concerns when someone can offer time or participation. Write these separately when they are different rather than using one time label for every step.
Worked example: a folding table for a picnic
In this fictional example, a person organizing a family picnic asks a cousin whether they would like to lend a folding table. They would like a reply between Tuesday evening and Wednesday evening because they plan to settle the picnic layout on Thursday. The picnic itself is on Saturday.
The cousin says they cannot check which table is free until Wednesday afternoon. They agree that Wednesday evening is a workable reply point. The organizer asks only about the loan; transporting the table is still a separate question. “I can lend it” would not mean “I will deliver it and set it up.”
They also agree on what the organizer will do if there is no answer: plan the picnic using the furniture already available to them. A missing reply will remain “not confirmed,” not be recorded as consent to collect the table or as a personal rejection.
Write an answerable request
The specific question I am asking:
Requested reply period, with dates and time zone if needed:
Why that timing matters to this plan:
The separate event or task date:
How to say that the requested timing does not work:
Whether a brief interim reply would be useful:
What I will do if the answer is still unknown:
Any later task that would need a separate agreement:
An interim reply might be “I have your question, but I cannot answer until tomorrow.” It is not the answer itself. Do not require an acknowledgment as an additional unspoken task or assume that a message has been seen because it was sent.
Check whose timing it is
A partner can say that their own planning preference is flexible. A grandparent can ask for an ordinary phone conversation instead of responding through a group thread. A teen asked about joining the picnic can decline or request more time without being made responsible for organizing the event.
If a time is fixed by an outside arrangement, name that actual constraint rather than presenting it as something the recipient has already agreed to. This page concerns voluntary household messages, not formal notice periods, legal deadlines, employment duties, or emergency contact arrangements.
When the window passes
Use the fallback you described, or reconsider your own plan if that remains possible. Do not turn a missed window into permission for repeated contact across different channels. If another message is appropriate, name the unresolved question and ask whether returning to it is still wanted. Keep the person's willingness to lend the table separate from your disappointment about an unfinished plan.
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