Sibling rivalry: a term for competition, not every disagreement

The term can name a kind of competition. It does not explain everything that happens between siblings, and a single disagreement does not tell an outside reader what either person is seeking.

Keep the event smaller than the label

Imagine two siblings preparing items for a fictional family craft display. One says, “You spent a long time looking at their model, and I want you to look at my drawing too.” The other says, “I thought we were still talking about my model.”

An adult might be tempted to summarize the whole event as rivalry. The two statements are more specific: one sibling wants attention for a drawing, while the other describes the conversation as unfinished. Neither account tells us their full relationship history.

A scene record could preserve:

Event: Talking about two craft pieces.
First request: Please look at my drawing too.
Second account: I thought my turn was not finished.
Question still open: What did each person understand the turn to be?
Not recorded as fact: Either sibling's hidden motive.

This original note is not a behavioral log or a scorecard. There is no need to keep repeated records of a child's interactions to use the term accurately.

Ask about the immediate request

For this low-stakes scene, the adult can ask each sibling what they want to say about their own work. The adult does not have to decide which piece is more impressive or announce who deserves more recognition.

The siblings might prefer separate conversations rather than a public comparison. An older sibling should not automatically become the referee or be told to yield because of age. The example assigns no age-based duty and makes no claim about what family arrangement is best.

Do not turn comparison into identity

“They are competing for attention in this moment” is already an interpretation to examine. “They are the jealous one” turns that interpretation into a label for a person. This glossary does not endorse either conclusion based on the fictional exchange.

The social-comparison page concerns a broader process of comparing with others. Negotiation concerns discussing an arrangement. Sibling rivalry adds a relationship-specific competition term, but it does not settle the practical question of who uses a space, speaks next, or keeps an object.

Where this entry stops

There are no claims here about how common rivalry is, what causes it, how long it should last, or whether it reflects ADHD. The example concerns ordinary craft-display attention, not intimidation or harm. This vocabulary page is not guidance for handling an unsafe situation. It offers no assessment, therapy, or prescribed parenting response, and its scene record is not taken from the dictionary or a clinical instrument.

Source

[1] American Psychological Association, APA Dictionary of Psychology. sibling rivalry. Updated 2018-04-19; original publication date not shown. Accessed September 6, 2026. [1] uses only the terminology specified above; additional findings, recommendations, and source examples are not adopted.

Related guides

• Social comparison
• Negotiation
• Turn taking
• Personal boundaries