ADHD glossary · Family perspectives
Digital notifications
Digital notifications are notices presented by an app or device, such as an alert about a message or a scheduled event. This page is about agreeing which ordinary household notices someone wants to receive. It is not a product setup guide, an emergency-contact plan, or a claim that changing settings will improve attention.
General education and practical perspectives. Editorial standards.
The reader question is: What does a notification mean between us, and what response have we actually agreed on? A requested reminder has a chosen purpose and timing. A notification is a delivery mechanism; its arrival does not by itself create an agreement to read or respond immediately.
An example: the household chat
In this invented household, Lee shares photos of a craft project in a group chat. Their sibling Sam is using the same conversation to arrange a Saturday pickup. Their parent interprets an unanswered message as an unfinished plan. Nobody has stated whether the chat is for conversation, logistics, or both.
They separate the two topics in their wording. A logistics message begins “Saturday plan — reply by Friday evening if you can.” Photos need no reply. Sam chooses to check the conversation after dinner; Lee prefers to look at it when they have something to add. The parent agrees to record a plan as confirmed only after the people involved explicitly agree.
They also name a limit: if Saturday's plan has not been agreed by Friday evening, they will choose a different arrangement. They do not use “I sent a notification” as proof that another person accepted the pickup.
Write a notification agreement before changing settings
Try making one row per ordinary use, not one row per family member's behavior.
Notice: Saturday plan question
Recipient's preference: Household chat; checked after dinner
Response expectation: Reply by the stated planning deadline if participating
If no answer: Treat the plan as unconfirmed
Notice: Craft photos
Recipient's preference: Same chat is acceptable
Response expectation: No response requested
If no answer: Nothing further
Notice: Reminder to bring a borrowed book
Recipient's preference: One message on the agreed morning
Response expectation: No repeated prompts
If no answer: Owner checks their own plan
Before changing a device, ask its user what they want to change and whether the setting is theirs to manage. Exact options vary, so describe the desired result first: “I do not want a sound for craft photos” is a preference, not a promise that every app can implement it separately. Use the chosen product's current instructions if configuration is later needed.
Questions worth resolving
Does the message need an answer, or is it information? Is a planning deadline written in the message? Who updates everyone when the arrangement changes? Does a shared-device screen expose message wording to people who were not meant to receive it?
A teenager may want fewer repeated prompts without leaving a household conversation. A parent may want a definite answer about transport. Those are separate requests that can be discussed without inspecting the teenager's other messages. On a shared device, the people using it may need a different arrangement from someone with a personal device.
If a change hides notices the user actually wanted, revisit or undo it. If no available setting matches the agreement, change the communication arrangement rather than promise that a device will enforce it. Do not extend this ordinary logistics example to safety-critical notices. Nothing here guarantees delivery, privacy, or anyone's availability.
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