ADHD glossary · Family perspectives
Do not disturb: agree on a quiet period and a clear return
“Do not disturb” can be a request to let an ordinary conversation or interruption wait. This page offers a voluntary household quiet-period agreement, not instructions for a device mode. It names the time, what people are being asked to postpone, and when the person expects to be available again.
General education and practical perspectives. Editorial standards.
A quiet-period request is narrower than all of someone's personal boundaries. It also differs from deciding what to do with an individual notification. Do not assume that an agreement between people changes any device setting, or that a setting communicates the agreement to everyone involved.
Worked example: finishing a paper model
In this fictional example, an adult is assembling a paper model for a club display. They ask their partner for twenty minutes without ordinary project questions. The partner agrees to hold a question about the display's colors until the adult returns.
There is also a younger child at home. The adults discuss who is actually available to the child during that period. The partner agrees to that role; the role is not assigned simply because the other adult wants quiet. They keep their existing arrangements for needs that cannot wait. This card does not replace those arrangements.
The adult writes “Model assembly until 3:20; back for display questions after that.” The child is not asked to monitor a clock or decide which adult responsibilities matter. If the arrangement stops fitting what is happening, the adults revisit it instead of treating the sign as permission to ignore an accepted responsibility.
Make a quiet-period card
I am asking for quiet while I:
Proposed start and finish:
Ordinary questions or activities I am asking to postpone:
Where we can leave a non-urgent question, if wanted:
Who has actually agreed to be available for current needs:
Existing arrangements that still apply:
How we will change or end this agreement:
When and how I will return to the waiting conversation:
Ask the relevant people before treating the card as an agreement. Someone can decline, suggest a different period, or explain a conflicting commitment without having to disclose a private reason. Do not put another person's name in the availability field before they have accepted it.
Keep the request reciprocal and specific
A teen might ask for a similar interval while working on a drawing. An adult can discuss the actual time and responsibilities without framing the request as something the teen must earn. Different people can need different arrangements; this example does not prescribe identical periods or a household productivity rule.
The waiting question needs a real return, not an indefinite promise. When the adult finishes, they ask whether the partner still wants to discuss the colors. If the work takes longer, they propose an update rather than silently extending the agreement.
Do not infer device behavior
If you also choose to use a device setting, verify its actual behavior and configuration separately before relying on it. Nothing here promises which calls, alerts, messages, or exceptions will reach anyone. The copyable card is only an ordinary communication arrangement; it is not a safety procedure or evidence that quiet periods improve an outcome.
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