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ADHD glossary · Family perspectives

Disclosure: deciding what personal information to share

Disclosure, in this everyday communication guide, means telling someone personal information they did not already know. We focus on planning an ordinary conversation: what you want to say, to whom, and for what purpose. We do not decide whether you must disclose something in a legal, employment, education, insurance, or healthcare setting.

By RDY Editorial · Prepared

General education and practical perspectives. Editorial standards.

This is different from personal privacy. Privacy is the wider question of access and boundaries; disclosure is a particular act of sharing. It is also different from asking for practical help. A request and a personal explanation can be discussed separately.

Worked example: joining a neighborhood project

In this invented scene, an adult wants to help make signs for a neighborhood event. They want the instructions in a message instead of receiving several spoken requests while everyone is talking. They consider sharing their ADHD diagnosis but have not decided whether they want the group to know.

They start with the practical request: “Could you send me the wording and the date you need the signs?” The organizer agrees. Later, the adult chooses to tell one friend more about why the arrangement matters to them. They say whether they want the conversation kept between them, while recognizing that a request for discretion is not a guarantee of confidentiality.

The adult's partner does not announce the diagnosis to explain the request on their behalf. The friend does not treat knowing one detail as an invitation to ask about medication, other relatives, or private experiences.

This is a communication example, not a recommendation that disclosure or nondisclosure is best for every person.

Questions before an ordinary conversation

What am I hoping this conversation will accomplish?
What practical request do I want to make?
Which personal detail am I considering sharing?
Who would hear it directly?
Could it be repeated, recorded, or forwarded?
What do I want to say about further sharing?
Which questions do I not want to answer?
Do I need setting-specific advice before deciding?

You can prepare wording without sending it. A saved draft is not a commitment to disclose, and a disclosure to one person does not describe what you want said to everyone else.

Different family positions

For the person considering disclosure, the central question is what they want this audience to understand. A parent preparing a school conversation should distinguish their own account from a child's personal story and seek appropriate guidance about formal records. A sibling can ask how to refer to an agreed practical arrangement without being made responsible for keeping adult secrets. A partner can offer to listen to draft wording rather than taking over the conversation.

Where this guide stops

Formal applications, professional confidentiality, custody disputes, reporting duties, and requests for records involve questions this page cannot resolve. Do not use our fictional example as evidence of a right, exemption, or obligation. Check the actual setting with an appropriately qualified adviser when those questions matter.

Updates and corrections

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